Crybaby...

So I have been hearing through the grapevine that people are calling me a crybaby...So the question now is 'What is the reason for me to be so emotional??' So let's see if I can have a breakthrough and get down to the root of my so called problem of being a "Crybaby"....

First, I may cry because I could be hurt. I am a very senstive person. I guess you can say I wear my heart on my sleeve. And when it come to my loved ones, I want nothing more for them to be happy and yes I can take things that they say or do personally and I may cry about it. But I have to say there are also times that I cry because I get so mad at a situation and when there is nothing I can do about it, yes again I tend to cry. And to take that a little further, I than get mad at myself for crying and showing that I can be weak. Especially, when I might be arguing with my boyfriend. Because honestly, I hate to show a man that I am weak...I want them to see me as a strong individual but umm yeah, that hardly happens. But I do try... I understand that too much can be a bad thing and not healthy at all...and no one should always be crying but have you ever thought that people who cry might have some underlying issues that nobody else knows about. It's the same thing as someone who is always angry or holding grudges...the first thing that comes to mind is that maybe that person had an abusive childhood or they have some built up aggression towards someone or something....and that can go for someone who crys alot...So who is anyone to judge the way someone expresses their emotions...have people become that ignorant...

Now let's all think about this for a second. When people cry, especially women, they may be viewed as “emotional” as though this is a negative thing. On the other hand, most therapist will say that crying is a great way to release an emotional response and get a more peaceful state of mind. Most people who bottle up their emotions may be more negative emotionally than the person who lets out their emotions in the sense of crying. Crying can soften the temper. It can put people at ease.

Some people dont cry instead they just get angry and lash out on everyone. You can say I do things a little more subtle. What is the purpose of always getting mad and exploding and saying things you might regret? Dont get me wrong, I have my moments of outbursts too....but if you think about it that doesnt get you anywhere either. Instead of being a crybaby you are just being a aggravated, maddened, hot under the collar, huffy, outraged, irate person. And you know what... I would take that a little bit more negatively...

Now I can take this a little further and say that crying is actually good for you. Tears, reduce tensions, remove toxins, and increase the body’s ability to heal itself.

There is a caution about crying too much. One psychotherapist says, "People who cry easily should feel glad they’re in touch with their feelings. But if they’re crying a lot in response to criticism, they should try to get some counseling. This kind of crying is an alarm bell of a far deeper hurt; it could signify a loss of self-esteem that is triggered whenever anyone says anything negative."

So in all that being said, maybe I do have an emotional problem. Maybe I do have some self esteem issues. But who is anybody to come at me calling me names when they do not know anything about me. They have not lived my life. They have no idea the things that have happened to me. They dont know the places I have been or the things I might have seen. But you know what...they have more issues than me... Why do they care that I might cry about something when they dont care about my well being...that goes back to the last blog that I posted...Stop being concerned about my life and the things I do...and what happend with that saying that we all grew up learning.."If you dont have anything nice to say dont say anything at all" or even better how about the golden rule.."Treat others the way you would want to be treated"

What a week....

Oh my goodness...i don't even know where to start....this has been a horrible week. I figured that I will write a least once a week instead of everyday. It all started at work Monday morning..I work so hard at my job and I feel so overworked and underpaid. But its crazy because regardless of everything I still love my job. At work sometimes I feel that even though I might not do something wrong I still get blamed for it. And at times if something is not done right I have to go back and do someone else's work just to ensure that that it doesn't come back and bite me in the butt. I don't know if that is what you call being nice or what but I do know that I am over working myself. Not to mention all week I have had the worst toothache ever. ..and you know that when your tooth hurts everything thing else bothers you...its not so much a physical job as it is a mental job...having a job like that is so draining...but than to come home and cook and clean and by the time I get to do anything its time for bed....just to get up in a few hours to start it all over.....and than come the weekend I still cant just lay around and rest...well last weekend I was sick with the Flu but every other time...I have to go grocery shopping or have to clean or other personal reasons...I try every Saturday to clean the whole house...but i know that I put it all on myself too because I feel like if I don't do it, it wont get done or wont get done right and I am very picking about certain things....The saying that people say "A women's job is never done" they are so right...

So this is the next thing...when you have roommates that is a tough situation....I have my brother living with me and my boyfriend and all I asked my brother to do is pay the electric. Just like people say never work with family...living with them can be the same....he wants to complain about how much food we have or how he never has money...no one told him that it would be easy living on his own...if that is the case than he needs to go back to mom and dad's because I am stressed about bills too....I wish that I could stay somewhere and all I had to do was pay for the electric. He doesn't have to worry about the rent or the water getting shut off. That is something that I have to think about everyday...I am the one that has to manage my money right so we do have a place to live and food to eat...He wants to talk about working and never having money??? How about working for 40 plus hours a week and never having money....You see I am not one to complain because I am just happy being on my own....I am ok with eating ramon noodles for dinner if I have to. Just as long as I have my own place....but you see I have no car and my brother does....so we share his car...and thank God that he is considerate enough to let me use it...I have no car but he lets me use his car to go to work and if he didn't I would be screwed....so the next question is do i get mad for him complaining???
But what can I say he is my baby brother and I love him with all my heart...

Life can get so stressful....and I realized that if you don't have people there to support you than it cant get any better....It is so amazing sometimes how you can have the worst day ever and someone will just send you a little text or email you a little something and it makes the whole day better...or it can be the other way around...you can be having a great day and someone can say one thing and change everything...and you know what it usually is someone close to you....

I dont ask for much from anybody...I just want to live my life and be happy....but in trying to do that people always have something negative to say about me....whether its how I look or what I might be wearing, what I might say or do, or how I feel about something...I guess that is what makes the world go round...but what I dont understand what does it matter to them??? Why must people talk about other people??? Is it because they have nothing better to do??? Is my life and what I do that important to others??? Hey if they have nothing better to do than sit around and talk about me than I guess I am that important...I think that people tend to look at other people's lives because they are too scared to face thier own problems or they dont want to realize that they have issues of their own....


Wow it is amazing how much better I feel!!! Maybe this thing does work...I dont want to just write about the bad stuff in my life because I promise there is alot of good but I needed a stress reliever and this was the first place I thought to come to....